Last night i felt low, I don't put any smile, put my cheeks down, and my eyes starring nowhere.
I stepped my feet out of the office, and it's raining. Oh, I hate rain when I'm blue.
Brought some food and breads in my bag, I have no appetite.

I walk under the tiny rain, not scared of it, stepped on the crossing bridge stairs, and found a woman with maybe not her kiddo, sitting on the floor, passed my rice box, they smiled. Then, I found an old man some steps forward, sitting on his sack, sleepy. I gave my breads to him. He woke up.

They've made my day.

Somehow, when we asked too many question, when we sigh too much, the Coach tried us to find the way and the answer. Coz, Coach won't answer, Coach won't show, but Coach will lead us to find the answer and the path we should walk on.

Young dreams

In springtime, We light a fire

Underneath the dark sky

I take some time, to read your mind

You are shy, but so am I

We get it, like everyone else does

Like sailors we set for the sea

We're restless, that's why keep on moving

Not empty because of our young dreams

We´ll live forever

Summertime, gets us high

In between, we run out wild

You take some time to ...

-- Young Dreams

http://justbeautifulthings.blogspot.com/

sing it

Everything happened for a reason,

problems exist for a reason,

to be solved.

life is about problems we face everyday,

and life is about making way out,

for yours and others.

Shape your blend,

and make smile of your life and others.

http://playwiththedolls.tumblr.com/

http://playwiththedolls.tumblr.com/

circled in, or circled out?

Today, I am tired with all of that preparation, proper schedule, and discipline. I planned to wake up an hour later than I usually did. Took a shower, washed my hair, had a slow breakfast, and caught on my bus one and a half hour later that I used to.

That morning I decided to jump to a depressed decision, I guess?

Yes, the traffic is heavy. Jakarta, rush hour. As I thought, and previously knew it so I feel welcome, go ahead, road, I don’t mind.

The road was so rushed my bus driver got a fuck finger from a car. The car driver opened the window and swore at the bus driver. The bus driver starred back, nodded his head and puffed the smoke out off his lips.

Back to the rush hour I try to seize the journey while holding to something I could grab to stay poise. Meanwhile thinking if I was the car driver would I also swear in that condition? If I swear then would I swear along the weekdays in the rush hour? Then I would be a grumpy person that come to the office with swearing stories every morning, while maybe the bus driver will have the same stories about another rich man swearing to his bus. Now who’s laughing?

I guess, if you wanna live in Jakarta, that is not how we deal with everyday stuff. I don’t say you have to be a bus driver to see that how things stand. But I suggest you not to get nailed with what people call comfort circle

Why? I might have the main reason, but you can figure it out others yourself. It is for us to be prepared if someday we will go out of the circle. You actually don’t know how big is your circle, how your daily will make it bigger or even make it smaller. I’d like to make it bigger so I wouldn’t mind going everywhere, even when I have to come out from the circle, I’m not scared, or at least I try not to be scared, because it doesn’t mean worse to be out there, and somehow we have to see our own circle from behind, beside, or above, observe it by zooming it out.

Often we can’t appreciate what is really around us, we can’t see clearly what’s near us, or even we can’t feel what are we actually face. Like if we are on the top of the hill, we should sometimes get down and seize the journey to feel and memorize the hassle.

Unfortunately, how many people brave enough, and have guts to jump off their circle, or just to walk off it once or twice to wipe the yawn and have some deeds..

Dear women, period.

Have you ever feel pre menstruation syndrom? Indeed.

Have you ever use it as reasons? Why not.

Have you ever been told not to use it as reasons? I had.

Yes, it is a lame to praise our weakness. Yes, it’s hard to be mature. We are women, can we just pamper our self or ask to be a baby once a month? It’s not that easy to face our self. Too many problems to be solved out we have too little time if w have to be a baby once a month.

But hello women? You know how it feels right to have that hard time? We have try to be as normal as if we don’t have period, Gosh, it’s hard. Sometimes I think that what makes women get mature faster than men, while they look strong but actually weak inside and women look stronger than they’re looked.

It’s just somehow I can’t understand myself either, and yet try to understand other people around. And it happens in pre menstruation syndrome. Zip it..

Why you're always talk
about the wrong way in
and the wrong way out?

It's only gonna be as easy
as you make it for yourself

by Two Doors Cinema Club

It's Okay..

Cry is actually similar with laugh.
A way to make us back to normal axis.
At some point, either it is X or Y, we just can't hold it too long there,
we just have to relieve and go back.

So, it's great to laugh, but it's ok to cry,
just as long as it will make us feel better.

Do u know sometimes its hard for u to learn or realize about something if you're not being in that thing? Well sometimes its hard too, to learn about if that is happening around u.

I mean I felt that like this. I realized something that I see from other people. It won't show up when you're in the circle, it blends with things around you and makes you get used to it. Somehow I'm out from that circle, and look back to it and realize I did that. Its kind of awful, and I don't wanna back in that circle. Too bad I realized it too late. But it's okay cause I'm gonna make it up, even though its too late, better than nothing.

It doesn't mean what happened in that circle is bad, yeah maybe it is, or it's just like it is. I just decided to be out of that circle. Someone should just realized of it and decide to be or not to be.

Sometimes we just don't need to be right or wrong, we just have to feel it..

Am I being too sensitive for hoping someone's smile in a fatigued me?
...

Dream Up A Chateau

Somewhere beneath the sky

I'll be flying and stumble upon a land

Dream up a chateau and clinch the esprit

To dream, to live, and to love

A journey and its happiness, here and there

Have you been on a journey?

I won't ask from or where you've been, because it doesn't matter actually, that people usually care about more.

Do you realize, what makes you happy and satisfied when you arrived at the end of your journey, is the journey itself. Often we choose to get somewhere easily, with the most comfort way, yeah of course, who doesn't want it anyway?

Good for you, who can get on to that journey, but somehow, what we want is actually forgetting what we need. Anyway, I would like to take you to take a glimpse of a journey, wether you take it in anyways.

Prepare yourself for a hard side, on a journey. (-That's why maybe the comfort journey can't make an equal analogy here. So imagine a bit hard or adventurous journey.-) Hard side doesn't mean a bad side, it's just a side that makes people aware of it. Trough the journey, if then we see a lot of good side happen, it would be our own gratefulness, despite of we think of good things that will happen, and then we get mad when unexpected things happen.

One of the journey that people go trough is relationship.
Once, i've met someone, very simple, unpredictably gave statement that opened up my eyes.
"Don't only think about your partners abilities because relationship is about tolerating handicaps and both matchless things." And then I realized, handicaps are the more and easiest things to be found than the abilities. Someone or something who has such a great number of abilities,
often ruined when a handicap is found.

So by doing that principle, I believe there will be more happiness here and there :)
Have an amusing journey.

http://bethhoeckel.com/COLLAGE.htm

Where are we right now?

http://www.lottanieminen.com/mountains.html

I would say I was on the ground, and now I'm climbing up to the mountain. Everybody seems want to walk up to the mountain, but actually many of them are happy just to be on the ground. I decided to go up to the mountain, so I can see everywhere from up there. After that, i would decide where to go again, to the sea, to the sky, or just stay on the mountain path, so i easily go down or up again.

I won't stay long at one point for a long time i guess, cause actually i don't know what will be going to happen. So, i just stay alert, where suddenly i will be and where the wind blows me.

There's no right or wrong, of being somewhere. We just need to emphasize where we are, and delight in every little thing we have. Sometimes we are just too comfortable at one place, and maybe become a conqueror there, sometimes a looser, and perhaps just usual human being. Me? I just wanna be useful.

What remain in my head is, i try to become the best of me. I wouldn't mind if one day i would spend the rest of my life at the sea. Discovering the watery and freedom where the wave bring me. Exploring the sea creatures, plankton and the anemon, the clown fish, sharks and the whale or even sea treasures. Maybe I could sometimes sail to the beach and stay at an island, or fly into the sky and feel the cloud to breathe.

Now and then, don't forget where you belonged, the journey and efforts brought you to, the memories of good times or hard times, cause you don't decide, and there's no level of being somewhere is high or low. The world is a nature, every little space of it, we the people are the one who destruct it, in coincidence or on purpose. If you don't act well, the nature will, your attitude play the role. You will be drown into the sea or swim in it freely , fall down from a mountain or reach the peak greatly. So watch out the steps you walk on.

Have your life :)

Chill It, Baby

This episode is like a friend of mine.

Too many minds. Often can't figure it out. Escape is like what I need, although I even often forget how to. Actually it's as simple as earphone and space.

How if minds are something small, and when they gathered, becoming something big and make us dizzy. We just need some time, to take care of them. Separate them for a while, take some priority and catchy one to think about, or to talk about with, fortunately to be solved. If it's hard, maybe it's just not about time to be decoded. So, keep it away, chill it. Take another mind if you still have the time and energy. If not, don't push it so hard. Sometime we just have to chill them out, and fry them when we hungry of minds :P

It's not hard actually to unravel them, we just need time and skills to manage it. Don't be afraid, more minds, you will increase your skill to manage them.

There you go, this episode is like a friend of mine. It doesn't say a thing, it only listens and gives some spaces for me to talk about something (actually write it) and somehow things straighten up or chilled? :)

http://cargocollective.com/

Plans, Ways, and Coffee

Today I have plans.. Going to a coffee shop near my house, and do some daily shopping afterward.

I should drive to the right, but it stuck suddenly. Then I go left, planning to go trough the lanes inside the main road. Yeah, it's out of nowhere, blocked. (- Okay, I actually a thinker, may be not in a positive way. I mean, I think about every little thing, also the big thing, however it's not too good actually for your health.-)

Anyway, I really don't wanna think today, please? So, after I found a few 'have to turn and drive another way' I decided to take the u turn, and back to main road. I've been thinking of going to another coffee shop, but i don't know why, I'd rather to take further way and still going to that coffee shop i wanted to go.

Nothing so special about the coffee shop, I'm just a person who somehow need spaces from home today, going somewhere alone to think (again) clearly, or just not to think and write like now :) I can't tweet cause it will just make people think I'm exposing my wobbly personality :P

However, I just noted from today 'u turn driving', that people may have plans, but actually God decides for us. While doing the plans, sometimes He will drive us away further, harder to get to our goal, or even closer and way easier to get it. He may try us, He wants to see us, how we handle it, our emotions, our willing.. We sometimes make things harder by not takin' it easy (I did), and sometimes don't think about everything around us, and realize that we just sometimes don't need to be focusing on the plans, on the barriers, instead, we just have to enjoy the journey, and make it as beautiful memories, so we can smile when we look back.

Enjoy! :)

www.cikopi.com - Jakarta Coffee House

It's Just It..

Thinking..
Wandering..
Exploring..
Realizing..
Seizing..

Where did all my guts go?

God please bring back them, i need all of those

I'm happy, very happy, so much happy..
i don't know, i don't care, and i don't give a damn,
I love you,
and I've never been in love like this before..

Things between us happened beautifully,
the imperfection between us is very perfect i don't want another perfect life..
i like us to be like this, with each problems, hard times and good times.

Our simple relationship, us, that makes it beautiful,
I wanna hug you forever :')

and hoping that she would be sincere..

Scrunchy Mussy Pills

I wanna doodle my words. Maybe my head already bored with what's in my mind. Yeah, too much thinking i think is one of my laxity but also my power. Yes power of mind affects me so. I often think too much. Even when I'm writing this I think too much, and too much words of thinking and too much in this writing. Phew.

I have scrunchy mussy head. Sometime positive, sometime negative. I want to put aside my scrunchy mussy brain for a moment if I can. Thinking about happy things. See? Again thinking. Can I just don't think for a while? Even when I don't want to think I still thinking. :D

Yeah yeah yeah, let's forget everything for a while, even if I can't. Hoho.. Is there any pills to get amnesia? Anti-scrunchy I'll name it. Cool pills' name, isn't it? I will.. Hihi..

*keepthinking* Shoo..shoo..! :D

Bye, I think I'm gonna think again :P

Snick snack at Puntjak

blur

Life goes on, and I'll keep mine on track

Keep going